Guy Profiles: Jett

Ah, there’s nothing more refreshing than some new dick.

I met Jack totally and completely randomly while at a college graduation party I went to with a friend of mine. I was pretty excited to go because it was an opportunity to meet new people. Not just to meet boys but I had just graduated in the spring and was still with the same people. I just needed some new ones in my life.

The party was cool. There was tons of food there and I’m kind of mad at myself for not smoking before going but I didn’t have any weed on me so I was kind of SOL. But man if I had smoked…let me stop getting off topic.

About an hour and a half later all of us are hanging out and warming up to each other. Then this guy comes walking up the street with a white fluffy dog. “How cute” was my first reaction. I mean, it’s cute when guys have cute dogs. It’s just like them holding a baby. All the girls cooed over his dog and I ended up talking to him for a bit. We had a lot of the same interests which was cool and he even quoted Drake to me. Who said chivalry is dead?

Eventually all of us ended up going to a bar together and buying drinks. I could have kicked myself for eating so much because I got a giant drink and was too full to finish it because I had eaten all of that fucking food. I was mad. But at least I had a good buzz. Me and Jack were still talking the whole time together as well. I was like, this kid is mad cool and I was kind of digging him.

While we were both super buzzed from our drinks we ended up dancing and making out on the dancefloor. I didn’t really want to only because sometimes I care about what people think of me and I didn’t want them to think I was a slut but I was like fuck it. We made out and it was cool.

Since then we’ve been hanging out pretty consistently. He’s a cool guy and we have a lot of interests and I like spending time with him. The only problem I have is the sex.

We have sex, and it’s good for the most part, but I’m never usually satisfied at the end. There’s times where I can really feel things going and then he ends up coming and I completely lose it. And then he doesn’t eat me out. I’ve sucked his dick twice and he just won’t do it for me. Only because he doesn’t know how to do it. And it annoys me because the sex could be a lot better if he did it for me. I know my body and I know that I get off on oral and vaginal sex. It’s almost infuriating when I have sex with him because it’s the same thing all the time.

He says he likes me and I said it back to him but I’m not all the way sure how I feel about him. It’s just a fun time I’m having with someone. Maybe with time, things ill change.

Guy Profiles: Antoine

Antoine is an asshole. But it only made me want his dick more, and you know how that goes.

We met at orientation summer 2009 and I thought he was cute until I really got to know him. He’s mean, rude and pretty much has a really terrible personality even if you know him personally and I thought I hated him until I really started talking to him and then I realized that he is me. We’re both the assholes in our circle of friends, except it works for me because I’m a girl and I’m cute.

His story mirrors Rick, by the time we had sex I had had sex with three of his friends and he knew about it, but that obviously didn’t stop him from having sex with me because boys will have sex with you no matter what. Don’t ever believe a boy who says they won’t have sex with a girl who smashed the homies because they totally will.

It all started one night during Welcome Week when I invited him and Ace to The Vortex. By the time they had gotten there the party was winding down and me and Antoine were in the corner in as deep conversation as you can get in when you’re drunk. We ended up finding out that we had similar personalities and he called me beautiful. I giggled when he said that and by then, I knew we were going to have sex. It was only a matter of time.

At Kiesha’s birthday party, things got a little hot when Ace and Antoine came (uninvited of course I pretty much used Ace to see Antoine but I wanted to hang out with Ace too because he’s my best guy friend but I’m starting to think he’s on to me…) and Antoine and I were talking in the corner again. This time it was dark and we were both super drunk and thisclose to making out and having sex but unfortunately Rose got sick and I had to walk her home. By the time I had came back they had gone and I was mad I had missed my chance. I mean, how hard is it to fuck someone?

Finally, a couple of weeks later, with the help of Devin, Antoine and I finally had sex. Devin and Antoine had been downtown and I was talking to Devin all night seeing what they were doing and finally they took a taxi back to our place where an after-party was going on and the rest is history.

Favorite Quote: “I want to pull your hair and cum on your face.”

Number of my friends he hooked up with before me: 3

Number of his friends I hooked up with before him: 3

 

Guy Profiles: Leroy

Leroy is the guy I lost my virginity to. Our relationship was awkward.

When I was a freshman I thought he was so cute. I was totally into preppy black guys at the time and he fit the mold and he had this really awesome bookbag that stood out on campus and he was the only person who had it. I liked that. Well, one thing led to another and I drank too much tequila on a Thursday night and ran into him at The Court and somehow ended up in his bed and sucking his dick (my first time ever!). We fooled around and then I left his room at 6am and I think I went to class the next day. I don’t really remember. Anyway, after me drunk texting him all the time (the thirst was real, but I really just wanted to have sex with him)  we had sex and it was weird since it was my first time, but I enjoyed it. It was a pleasant experience. What happened from there became a summer of me driving downtown from home Monday nights to have sex with him, which went on for about a year and a half. We “broke up” on December 22. I’m totally over him but recently he’s been talking to me again and I know it’s because he wants to have sex with me again, but I can see right through it. Boys are so stupid.

Best Position with Leroy: Him on top with my leg over his shoulder

Worst Position with Leroy: 69, but that’s an awkward position for anyone

Our “Thing”: We used to fuck to Kanye West all the time. Especially 808s and Heartbreaks. (How could you be so heartless…just kidding!)

Fun Fact: I didn’t know he was uncircumcised until our last day together.